More Is Not Always Better

Every day across the bottom of my television screen a message scrolls about the change to digital television. It scrolls across telling me constantly that if I don’t have the digital box I won’t be able to watch television. At the very same time a nice gentleman that hubby works with also works at the very large cable company who wants me to get the digital service from them. The nice gentlemen offered to analyze our bill to make sure we were getting the best bundle of services. This conversation has been going on with hubby for several years. As a result hubby and I have been having the same conversation for several years. Nice gentlemen finally won. To be honest, nice gentleman was correct. I knew he was correct. We had been paying five dollars a month for a box that we don’t even use just so we wouldn’t have to go into the attic and get the darn thing out. The conversation changed from let me analyze your bill to you should have digital television.

One day the phone rings and it is nice gentlemen. He asks for hubby. He is still asleep so nice gentlemen proceeds to tell me that the large cable company will be here on Friday to update our service to the new digital box service. Oh goody. We go thru the whole parcel of services that we are going to get which as it turns out is not a really a huge parcel at all and nothing that I couldn’t live without as I have been doing that for five years already. Okay, so I don’t get the most enthusiastic consumer award. I am skeptical. I am not a big fan of more stuff and this has more stuff written all over it. More stuff is not always better. Sometimes it is just more stuff.

The big day arrives and the big cable company guy arrives. He is wearing a big cable company shirt and explains to us that he doesn’t really work for the big cable company. He is a contractor that the big cable company hired. He then explains that he is going to hook up the new digital box. Okay that means that I have to clean out the television stand that holds my vcr, cable box, dvd and assorted tapes and dvds. Oh good, more stuff and cleaning. I am waiting for Allen Funt to jump out and scream “Surprise! You’re on candid camera!” Hubby jumps in and empties out the stand. He’s trying to get out of going in the attic to search for the box that we haven’t seen in five years. Nice try. Big cable company guy is quite fast and finishes hooking things up in a few minutes. Hubby can’t find the box and promises to turn it in later. We are good to go. He hands us our welcome packet, which is a channel guide and the instructional booklet and a clicker. I knew the moment I looked at the clicker that I was in big trouble. First of all it is huge. It is eight and half inches long. Yes I measured it with a measuring tape because I couldn’t believe it was that big. This clicker has fifty-three buttons. Why exactly does a clicker need to be eight and a half inches long and have fifty -three buttons? It only needs to do three things. I should turn the equipment on and off, it should have a volume control and last but certainly not least it should change the channel. It turns on the television, it turns on the box, it turns the power on to each of those, and it has a special section for the on demand channel. The on demand section is ten buttons. Can you say overkill? Then there is a middle section with up and down and select buttons. I haven’t quite figured out exactly what this section does but it must be important because the five buttons in this section are the biggest. The bottom section has numbers so you can select the channel you want. There is a picture in picture section. I’m not sure why picture in picture needs five buttons. There is a mute button, an exit button, a last button, five buttons that have signals that must do something but I have no idea what they do that is not covered by the other forty-nine buttons. There are six on off buttons. I am hoping that someone at the really large cable company can explain to me why six buttons are needed to turn this system on and off. I could turn my old clicker on in the dark. More stuff clicker will not be turned on in the dark. In fact, I need to turn the lights all the way up and grab my glasses just to read the fifty-three buttons.

This new system is supposed to be better than the old one. It is that more stuff mentality. It’s wrong on so many levels that I have decided that I don’t want to play the more stuff is better game. I want to simplify my choices. I am standing my ground. I’ve learned the six buttons I need to turn it on, the volume button and the channel button. I am ignoring the rest. I am simplifying, downsizing, and seeking the truth. That’s my excuse, I mean story, and I’m sticking to it.